As the infinite permutations of the wise and the silly would have it, he was born with the most brilliant brain possible. He was also born as a dog and therein lay the tragedy. How could he express all the great thoughts that came to his mind being just a dog? Certainly, there were many visibly worthwhile things the dog could do, like running after moving objects or licking himself or transporting interesting microbes. But as far as expression in the public arena, the options available to this dog were limited mainly to barking with varying degrees of intensity. It was difficult for him to let the world in on all the amazing thoughts that ran through his mind. And this made him so frustrated - he spent much of his time making sexual advances towards the legs of humans - a sad thing to watch as there was so very little reciprocation.
But he had such great thoughts! From when he was just a pup he could see clearly how the cracks in the asphalt roads of the city resembled the lines in the palms of human hands and contained within them the blueprints for the city’s life and death - it's fate! Yet even though they made the asphalt, humans were not conscious of the mysteries they tapped into. They were just blind instruments of Doggod’s design - a design the dog could not understand till he started focusing on the patterns that came out of his pee. It was not appropriate for the cultured and complex humans to spend much time considering their pee, but he was a dog and therein lay his great advantage. As he studied the pee, he understood that the size and the direction of the flow of the yellow puddle was always different yet had constant characteristics - reflecting perfectly the shape of the soul! And by studying it, you could not only learn the condition of the peeing creature’s spirit, but could also glimpse the Doggod’s mood and learn whether Doggod was pissed or sipping the Tea of Time – a thought which led to another great discovery of the brainy dog that if you look very carefully at the way a chicken bone breaks compared to the way a duck bone breaks - you can notice a lot of similarities. In fact, enough similarities to conclude that those two are the same bird! They are exactly the same! The only difference is pollen that is always in the air and flies and hits your eyes and makes you think you are seeing different shapes and creatures and whatever, while in reality there are just a few basic things out there and the rest is just a show, an illusion brought on by this pollen from the flower – the only kind of flower there is – the Eye-Flower!
Anyway, these were just some of the smartest dog’s ideas. We will never find out more since after another disheartening attempt to communicate on equal terms with his masters, who misinterpreted his bout of barking and took him to get some new shots, he drowned horribly in the Tea of Time which to the unitiated might have seemed just like the oil boiling thinly-cut potatoes at the local fast-food joint, but of course was the Tea of Time that could tell you pretty accurately what tragic things were really going on and when…
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